Practical Lessons for Living with Grief - One Month After Loss

Today marks one month since I lost my precious daughter. As you can imagine, it has been incredibly tough. But amid this adversity, life has taught me valuable lessons about learning to live during a season of grief. I hope you find them helpful.

1. Yes, It Happened

You cannot undo the event—acknowledge this fact. Live in the present. What has happened, has happened.

2. Moving Forward Is Necessary

You don’t need to feel guilty about it. Take a step forward; if you can’t, take half a step, but move forward. It’s not an act of betrayal, but survival. Life moves forward.

3. Talk About How You Feel

Don’t bury your emotions—share them.

4. Memories

You have a choice: use memories to feel good or to feel depressed. Choose the former.

5. Triggers Are Everywhere

Almost anything can remind you of the person you lost; it’s natural. This is a manifestation of the love you shared.

6. Waves

Grief and pain will hit you like waves. Just when you think you’re in control, another wave comes. Don’t resist it—allow yourself to feel it. It’s okay to pause and shed a few tears; you’ll feel better afterward.

7. Shrink, Don’t Isolate

It’s fine to temporarily shrink your circle, but don’t isolate yourself. Isolation breeds unhealthy grieving.

8. Regret

Regret is an emotion you may encounter. It might sound like, “I could have done more,” or “if only…”. Yielding to regret is like punishing yourself. Healing from regret requires a healing of the spirit, which requires seeking divine strength. Seek strength from God.

9. Numbing the Pain Won’t Help

Numbing the pain leads to a downward spiral. I’m not sure if you can be completely healed from the pain, but I do believe that with the right attitude and with time, you can develop the resilience to not just cope, but grow through the pain.

10. Don’t Be Blinded

Don’t let what you’ve lost blind you to the value of what and who you still have.

If you are going through a season of grief or loss, I hope these lessons guide you. I pray that you will grow through your pain.